Andrew Cuomo needs lots of "Ron Pauls"

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall

Humpty Dumpty took a great fall

  Up to the mythical bar in the Sky strutted Andrew Cuomo, the big man in New York.  He tamed the State's budget crisis.  He appointed committees to fix everything.   He rebuilt the infrastructure damaged by Irene and prepared for his ascension to president.    But like all prodigal sons, the end was unexpected.  Will his friends who he bought drinks for at the bar love him when he asks them for money?
     Back on Earth, Comptroller DiNapoli at Cuomo's "Ministry of Finance and Hope" has shown his "prodigal prudence" by lowering his estimate of safe Pension fund returns from 8% to 7.5%.   Will DiNapoli be able to get Madoff freed from jail to help obtain this 7.5% safe return.    There are lies, damn lies and finance weasel's doublespeak.  The following words of DiNapoli were issued from the "Ministry of Finance and Hope:" 
   "DiNapoli: State’s finances on a ‘razor-thin’ margin"
1. “Revenue collections, as anticipated, have grown from last year,” 
2. “Still, the Blue Chip consensus economic forecasts for growth continue to be revised downward, raising concerns for the remainder of the fiscal year. We should be prepared for the possibility that revenue growth may falter, requiring downward adjustments to the Financial Plan.”
3. The General Fund ended August with a balance of $1.6 billion, $0.7 million lower than projected in the Financial Plan updated August 2.  Receipts, including transfers, grew $3.1 billion over last year primarily because of higher personal income tax (PIT) collections in April and $500 million in delayed refunds that lowered last year’s revenue. PIT collections ended the month $45.2 million lower than the latest projections. Spending, including transfers, increased $1.2 billion (5.5 percent) from the same period last year and was $77.4 million below projections, primarily because of local assistance and transfers to other funds.
   Or translating from Weasel, the budget isn't getting the expected revenues; we booked $500 million in delayed tax refunds as revenue when it is an unpaid expense (luckily no jail, like in private business); and we didn't transfer money we were supposed to to other accounts.

     Meanwhile back at the mythical bar, Cuomo and DiNapoli ordered two stiff drinks and discussed the news on Earth:
1. In Rhode Island, General Treasurer Gina Raimondo is calling the state's underfunded pension system a "death spiral"   and the State of RI went to court and lost when, "A Rhode Island judge has ruled in favor of state employee labor unions in the first round of a major legal challenge to state pension reform."

DiNapoli: "They used 8% and I'm using 7.5%. Hick"

Cuomo: "In NY, unions needn't go to court because pensions are protected in our NY Constitution.  What's a death spiral?"

2.  "The president urged Congress to pony up roughly $200 billion in taxpayer money to "provide more jobs for teachers [and] more jobs for construction workers" and more money to carry out other state and local activities. 
These vast contributions to the coffers of state and local governments, though pitched as a jobs bill, are in reality the latest in a series of bailouts for debt-ridden state and local governments. They are of special benefit to states in the blue regions of the country where the president's most fervent supporters reside."
DiNapoli: We need that money or we're broke. Give me another shot.
Cuomo: [animated] They'll never cut me off I'm Andrew, Son of Mario, future President, New World Order Leader.

3. "Stock futures are plummeting after the Federal Reserve indicated the U.S. economic slump could last for years.

The Fed took steps to stimulate the economy Wednesday that had largely been expected. But investors were troubled because the central bank's statement showed it expected a deep and persistent downturn."

Dinpoli: We needed a recovery; we needed growth; we needed their money.  [Orders a double}
Cuomo: {gulping down his drink] The world will change.  My daddy told me I'll rule.  Let them work harder.  The world and I need their money. 

4. "Call it the recession's lost generation.  In record-setting numbers, young adults struggling to find work are shunning long-distance moves to live with Mom and Dad, delaying marriage and buying fewer homes, ... They suffer from the highest unemployment since World War II and risk living in poverty more than others - nearly 1 in 5.   ...  recent college grads now getting by with waitressing, bartending and odd jobs, they will have to compete with new graduates for entry-level career positions when the job market eventually does improve."

DiNapoli: I want to cry at home.  The retirees are fleeing NY.  The young have no hope. Who's going to pay our bills?  

Cuomo; They're not a lost generation; they have me!

Bartender hands check to the Big Man

Cuomo; Don't give me the bill; give it to him.
DiNapoli: What do you mean, no IOU's and you'll only take a Ron Paul? link